HorrorHound has something demented for everyone!

HorrorHound Weekend has just concluded in Cincinnati, and if you’re like me, you were supremely grossed out upon seeing this:

If you really want one of these (and lord knows, I'm certain some of you do) visit www.scarebears1.com.

If you really want one of these (and lord knows, I’m certain some of you do) visit http://www.scarebears1.com.

Those were selling like bloody, disemboweled hotcakes at the popular horror convention that features movie and television stars, authors, artists (tattoo and otherwise), and vendors galore. All of them in some way affiliated with the horror genre.

This was my first go-around as a Samhain Horror author. My Cincy-based publisher helps to sponsor the convention, and provides plenty of books for its

authors to sell to fans. And that’s exactly what my fellow authors and I did over the last three days, and it was fantastic fun getting to interact with new and prospective readers.

Yes, I'm experimenting with a beard. And yes, the Krampus mask goes everywhere with me.

Yes, I’m experimenting with a beard. And yes, the Krampus mask goes everywhere with me.

HorrorHound is probably one of the best conventions for authors to reach readers, and our booth was busy (and that’s good, given the state of the publishing world). Now, when you consider the hotel bill ($130), gas (at least $100), entirely too much fast food ($20) and souvenirs (I’m not saying how much because my wife might read this), you’re not going to break even by selling 25 books priced at $8 each. But making money at this point in my career isn’t paramount. Sure, I’d like it to happen, but to me this convention was all about getting my name out there, meeting the people who actually work for my publisher (they’re based in Cincinnati), and meeting my fellow authors, most of whom I’ve corresponded with on Facebook and Twitter, but never met in person.

Samhain Horror authors who attended HorrorHound (from left to right): Jonathan Janz, Mark Rigney, Me, Brian Pinkerton, Russell Kames, Tim Waggoner, Adam Cesare, Glenn Rolfe, Kris Rufty, and Tamara Jones. Please, visit Samhain Publishing.com and check out their stuff.

Samhain Horror authors who attended HorrorHound (from left to right): Jonathan Janz, Mark Rigney, Me, Brian Pinkerton, Russell James, Tim Waggoner, Adam Cesare, Glenn Rolfe, Kris Rufty, and Tamara Jones. Please, visit Samhain Publishing.com and check out their stuff.

The other fun part of HorrorHound is slipping away from the table to see which stars of the stage and screen are milling about, and to digest some of the perverse memorabilia up for sale. Case in point, this:

Wait, how did my son somehow slip away from tormenting his mother in New Jersey to wind up on display at a horror convention? I know it’s just a doll (and this was one of the tamer ones) but those of you with children, especially toddlers, know what I’m talking about.

Wait, how did my son somehow slip away from tormenting his mother in New Jersey to wind up on display at a horror convention? I know it’s just a doll (and this was one of the tamer ones) but those of you with children, especially toddlers, know what I’m talking about.

Also fun, seeing movie stars who are 30 years past their prime. Let’s play a game: Name this actor:CT

Sorry it’s grainy. Celebrities now charge you money to take photographs of them, so you have to kind of do it on the sly. So I’ll give you three hints: E.T., Red Dawn (Wolverines!), and a somewhat recent episode of Criminal Minds. OK, one more: The Hitcher. That’s right, it’s C. Thomas Howell! (And it looks like he’s seen better days, and he has—back in the 1980s.)

Here’s another one, and if you can’t guess this, then you weren’t an avid moviegoer in 1984:zg

Yup, it’s Zack Galligan from Gremlins, Gremlins 2, and Not Much Else. I don’t fault these guys (and gals) one bit for hitting the convention circuit. It’s how they make their livings (and they make a lot more than you and me combined by doing it). And if they can help people relive some of their favorite TV and movie memories, then I’m all for it.

Now, as you might imagine, this was the line of people waiting to meet me:IMG_3630

Ha! Of course they weren’t queuing for me! This was for Norman Reedus, of Walking Dead fame. Daryl-Dixon-daryl-dixon-32601352-500-385

I did not see Norman. Although he must’ve been in the building because, and I am not kidding, thousands of people came to see him. That crowd picture doesn’t come close to portraying how many Norman Reedus fans swarmed that convention hall. I think some of them are still there. By the way, one Norman Reedus autograph: $80. You do the math.

Another fun part of HorrorHound: checking out all the creepy costumes people donned.

One second after I snapped this photo, the monkey man suddenly slapped his cymbals together, scaring the hell out of everyone.

One second after I snapped this photo, the monkey man suddenly slapped his cymbals together, scaring the hell out of everyone.

Everypne kept saying "It's Nosferatu!" Nope, any discerning Stephen King fans knows it's Barlow from the late 1970s Salems Lot TV miniseries.

Everyone kept saying “It’s Nosferatu!” Nope, any discerning Stephen King fan knows it’s Barlow from the late 1970s Salem’s Lot TV miniseries.

There's nothing especially stunning about these costumes. I just couldn't help but think that the Big Bad Wolf and Grandmother suddenly had the urge to fill out their 1099s. I mean, it IS tax season.

There’s nothing especially stunning about these costumes. I just couldn’t help but think that the Big Bad Wolf and Grandmother suddenly had the urge to fill out their 1099s. I mean, it IS tax season.

Here are some things that were for sale at HorrorHound that I did not buy:

That’s right, a hand-burnt casket that’s light enough to hang on the wall! The sheep heads were separate (and $150, judging by the price tag). I’m thinking you can probably buy a living sheep on Craigslist (face it, everything’s on Craigslist: used treadmills, meth lab components, prostitutes—so it’s not a leap to think that livestock’s floating around somewhere in there).

That’s right, a hand-burnt casket that’s light enough to hang on the wall! The sheep heads were separate (and $150, judging by the price tag). I’m thinking you can probably buy a living sheep for that same amount on Craigslist (face it, everything’s on Craigslist: used treadmills, meth lab components, prostitutes—so it’s not a leap to think that livestock’s floating around somewhere in there).

And here’s a cool skeletal carnivorous plant that costs almost as much as our monthly mortgage payment:plant

I did not purchase anything nearly as expensive as that. Just a Majestic Demon bust cast in resin. 

It was my one splurge to mark my first horror convention and first time ever stepping foot into Ohio (those billboards advertising “GUNS! This Exit!” is a clear reminder you’re not in New Jersey). Oh, check out http://www.alter-ego-dezines if you want your own demon.

It takes roughly 9 hours to drive from North Jersey to Cincinnati. That was the only downside to the weekend, but not bad enough to keep me from wanting to attend next year’s convention. I cannot wait.    

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s