With all this talk about deporting millions of children, and the possibility of thermonuclear war without Matthew Broderick saving the day, I figure, why not spread some pre-Christmas cheer? (Just in case earth is noting but a smoldering orb in a few short months.)
Funko, that is wonderful company that produces roughly 100,000 different bulbous-headed action figures and bobbleheads from decades of pop culture has finally gotten around to making a no-brainer of a Pop! Krampus!
And not the one from that movie from a few years ago. This is the Krampus that I and a continent of petrified European children conjure in our darkest dreams:
And the best part? There will be five of them!
Two of them are “flocked” and only available at a store called “Hot Topic,” which, honestly, sounds like a place where tween girls buy clothing. And to quote many a parole officer: Don’t go there. Unless you’re a tween buying Krampus for your geek parents.
The others are available at FYE (meaning they’ll cost $10 more) and, well, everywhere they sell items that are a complete waste of money but you need something for your desk anyway.
I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! (I truly need human companionship.)
Oh, and for you Elf fans, Christmas is coming early for you this year, too, unless Kim Jong Un decides to steal it by way of mutually assured destruction.