Lingerie Football League Responds to NFL: ‘We Stand!’

This is not an Onion story.

(Courtesy: The Internet.)

It seems the ladies of the Lingerie Football League, which I knew existed in my dreams if not in reality, has literally taken a stand.

Whenever and wherever it is they play football, they’re standing for the National Anthem. I say God bless America and them and not just because I’m a 42-year-old single dad.

I was raised to stand during the National Anthem, remove my hat, put my hand over my heart, and to pay my respects to the American Flag. This was taught as far back as the 1980s and I cannot say with any degree of certainty whether that is still the case today. I’m pretty sure the San Francisco Public School System teaches its kindergartners to burn the flag while wearing Che Guevara T-shirts, but I could be off on that, too. I mean, if Alex Jones says it, it’s true, right?

(Courtesy: The Internet, and I pray this isn’t actually a child wearing a Che shirt and that the image is doctored.)

Back to the LFL. Let’s put the sophomoric jokes aside. This decision is to be respected and instills hope in me that America hasn’t completely lost its mind—a conclusion almost anyone could jump to given the current occupant of the White House and because the show Survivor is somehow still popular.

There are athletes of several ethnic backgrounds (don’t believe me? Follow this link) in the LFL and it’s reasonably assumed that some of them share concerns over police brutality against minorities, and want to call attention to it. But somewhere, somehow the League must’ve been educated in the 1980s and not in San Francisco:

“The LFL recognizes everyone’s First Amendment right to protest, but our nation’s flag and anthem are far too sacred,” the league said. “Too many fellow Americans have made the ultimate sacrifice, so that our flag and anthem continue in all its majesty.”

Leave it to the ladies to show the men how it’s done. There’s a time and a place for everything, and perhaps the LFL realized that performing an act that is clearly offensive to a majority of Americans might not be the best way to draw people to your cause, no matter how noble.

Go team.


Amazon to host Defense Department data! What could possibly go wrong?

I’m not sure this is the best idea.

To quote from the story:

“This week, the Defense Department granted the cloud computing giant (Amazon) a provisional authorization to host Impact Level 5 workloads, which are the military and Pentagon’s most sensitive, unclassified information.”

Hackers are always trying to steal valuable information, so that’s bad enough. But now the defense department is telling them where to look.

I guess the saving grace is it’s unclassified information, so what’s the big deal if North Korea gets it while buying the newest Taylor Swift cd?

All you need to remove your child’s loose tooth!

It works and it’s only a few bucks.*

* The Cheetos, not my son.

Did Craig Carton scam the New York Mets?

I live in the New York area and tune in to WFAN on the way to work to listen to the Boomer and Carton show. Boomer would be former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason, and Carton would be Craig Carton, the loudmouth, bombastic sidekick.

(Carton’s on the left, Esiason’s on the right. Credit to Getty Images.)

Earlier today the Feds arrested Carton for allegedly running a multimillion-dollar Ponzi-like scheme to pay off massive gambling debts.

My first question: Did Carton (a huge Mets fan) convince Fred and/or Jeff Wilpon to invest in his scheme? That would be delicious because the Wilpons, who (terribly) own the New York Mets, were scammed by Bernie Madoff a few years ago, and fans have cited that as one of the reasons the Wilpons don’t open up their wallets the way the crosstown rival New York Yankees do to sign free agents. Hopefully the Wilpons learned their lesson!

I’m not happy Carton got arrested. He’s a father of four with a dream job in the biggest media market in America. He reportedly makes $250,000 a year, and now faces decades in prison. He’s one of the ones who pointed to the Madoff scam over the years to criticize the Mets, and, unfortunately, now has more in common with Madoff than the Wilpons.

Krampus Funko Pop! Is coming!

With all this talk about deporting millions of children, and the possibility of thermonuclear war without Matthew Broderick saving the day, I figure, why not spread some pre-Christmas cheer? (Just in case earth is noting but a smoldering orb in a few short months.)

Funko, that is wonderful company that produces roughly 100,000 different bulbous-headed action figures and bobbleheads from decades of pop culture has finally gotten around to making a no-brainer of a Pop! Krampus!

And not the one from that movie from a few years ago. This is the Krampus that I and a continent of petrified European children conjure in our darkest dreams:

And the best part? There will be five of them!

Two of them are “flocked” and only available at a store called “Hot Topic,” which, honestly, sounds like a place where tween girls buy clothing. And to quote many a parole officer: Don’t go there. Unless you’re a tween buying Krampus for your geek parents.

The others are available at FYE (meaning they’ll cost $10 more) and, well, everywhere they sell items that are a complete waste of money but you need something for your desk anyway.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! (I truly need human companionship.)

Oh, and for you Elf fans, Christmas is coming early for you this year, too, unless Kim Jong Un decides to steal it by way of mutually assured destruction.

Goin’ to Virginia!

Well, the hotel room’s booked! That means I’m going to Scares that Care in Williamsburg, Va., this coming Friday through Sunday to hawk books and give out pretty bookmarks (I designed them myself)!

Scares that Care is an annual event that caters to the horror crowd (that likes meeting B-, C-, and D-list actors and actresses, and Z-list authors [ahem] for that matter) and it benefits children fighting terrible illnesses, the to the families who support them.

It’s worth the price of admission. So, to all three or four of my blog readers, if you’re in the area, please swing by to say hello.

Has it been that long? (Yes.)

The Highwayman cover7The last time I blogged was more than a  year and a half ago. What could possibly have kept me away from this form of social media?

Could I have been binge-watching Sherlock? Yes, but seeing that there are only 14 episodes, I finished bingeing a while ago, and I’m frankly dismayed that it might literally take years for any future episodes to be made.

Was I busy colluding with the Russians? (I don’t know. I might have had Russian salad dressing, and I’m convinced that made at least half the country angry.)

Or was I looking to find a new home for my already-published works and a place for my new book, The Highwayman? The obvious answer, based on the oversized photo of the book cover, is yes! Crossroad Press has kindly picked up my backlist and just published my first-ever thriller.  Remember the show “To Catch a Predator”? (Great show to watch, awful show to be on.) Well, in my book, the creeps don’t meet Chris Hansen in the kitchen with a plate of stale brownies and a camera crew–they’re murdered. But why is an above-reproach FBI agent who is investigating the case targeted by the killer? Go to my website for the full scoop.

I just wanted to say a quick hello, and hopefully it won’t be another 18+ months before you hear from me again.