Pop!

Krampus Funko Pop! Arrives!

Chim Chim Cher-ee!

Funko Pop! has crafted perhaps the best thing I’ve ever wasted my money on–Krampus! If you don’t know who Krampus is, buy this book and you’ll learn all about him and help me pay my power bill. (I know, totally shameless.)

Other than the Living Dead Doll, there aren’t many Krampus things you can display on your desk or hide in your bedroom closet because you’re a 42-year-old man and you feel strange keeping it on your nightstand. But what Funko has done is magnificent. Here he is:

img_0006

First, this is one hefty hunk of plastic, potentially an interesting paperweight in the right hands or a spiked weapon in the wrong ones. He’s holding a ruten (i.e., birch switch to swat bad children), he has a basket (pictured below) chained to his back, and his long, snakelike tongue is slithering! And the best part?

img_0005  There’s a (presumably) naughty Funko Pop! kid in his basket! It doesn’t come out, but damn! What an awesome touch.

Once you hold this piece of plastic in your hot little hands you’ll say to yourself, “Wow! I wish I there were other Funko Pop! Krampuses I could buy.” Well, you’re in luck! Funko is out to squeeze every last buck out of you that you really should be stashing away into your kid’s college savings plan. Funko is producing 5 of them! There’s the basic one above, and which is the best of the lot, in my book. But you also have ….

A red “Chase” variant. Meaning you have a one-in-six chance of plucking one of these out of the box:

jpeg2

What this means is this one will run you a lot more than the basic one on eBay (curse you secondary-market sellers!). Now come the store exclusives! Hot Topic will have the following “Flocked” offerings. I honestly have no idea what that means. Is the fur designed differently? It’s not a fuzzy action figure, is it? I don’t know. But here’s the basic one, followed by the white “Chase” variant, meaning this one will cost even more than the Red “Chase” figure pictured above.

I love the white one and not just because he reminds me of my former father-in-law (and I adore the guy, who’s 6’4 tall). Hopefully the next time I swing by my nearest Hot Topic and feel awkward walking by all the sex toys (wait, that’s Spencer’s, never mind), I’ll see if they have the white critter.

Now, fifth and finally, is the FYE exclusive “Frozen” Krampus. (I pre-ordered one. Seriously. I’m 42 and I did that.)

jpeg5

I think he’s the bees knees. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking the following: Will this guy actually seek out all five of these Krampuses when he could just as easily donate the money he’ll use to buy them to the needy? Yes. But I’ll be sure to put one in the Toys for Tots bin, too. Thank you, Funko, thank you! Happy hunting to all, and to all a good night!

Advertisements

Krampus Funko Pop! Is coming!

With all this talk about deporting millions of children, and the possibility of thermonuclear war without Matthew Broderick saving the day, I figure, why not spread some pre-Christmas cheer? (Just in case earth is noting but a smoldering orb in a few short months.)

Funko, that is wonderful company that produces roughly 100,000 different bulbous-headed action figures and bobbleheads from decades of pop culture has finally gotten around to making a no-brainer of a Pop! Krampus!

And not the one from that movie from a few years ago. This is the Krampus that I and a continent of petrified European children conjure in our darkest dreams:

And the best part? There will be five of them!

Two of them are “flocked” and only available at a store called “Hot Topic,” which, honestly, sounds like a place where tween girls buy clothing. And to quote many a parole officer: Don’t go there. Unless you’re a tween buying Krampus for your geek parents.

The others are available at FYE (meaning they’ll cost $10 more) and, well, everywhere they sell items that are a complete waste of money but you need something for your desk anyway.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! (I truly need human companionship.)

Oh, and for you Elf fans, Christmas is coming early for you this year, too, unless Kim Jong Un decides to steal it by way of mutually assured destruction.